1. Confront your emotional pain - your shock, fear, anger, and grief. Recognize that the hurt that has occurred may have been very unfair and that these steps are not meant to minimize the hurt involved.

2. Realize that forgiveness can only be appropriate after you have processed out your fear, anger, and grief. However, also realize that you can set forgiveness as a goal in the future for your sake now! Recognize that to continue to dwell on the anger and resentment involved in the hurt will literally destroy your physical health, and cause you great mental suffering.

3. Understand that love is what you ultimately want for yourself from yourself.

4. Understand that forgiveness does not condone or approve or forget the harmful acts; forgiveness does not allow yourself to be abused. We forgive the doer, not the doing. Remembering this helps us to break harmful cycles of behavior.

5. Realize that you are the only person responsible for your own feelings and for healing the hurt that is going on inside of you.

6. Remember that you are so powerful that usually you had some part in what happened. Be willing to totally face up to that part and accept it without blame (to forgive and love that part).

7. See this situation as an opportunity for healing and for growth. See that the other person involved has revealed to you through his or her actions where there was a wounded spot in you which needed healing.

8. Start releasing anger, sadness, grief, and fear through the many processes, therapies and therapists available. Have a person to work with who can truly empathize with you, yet who can be objective and help you shift your perception from blame to healing.

9. Decide to forgive. Even if this decision is half-hearted at first, it will probably lessen your hurt and anger immediately.Notice that this decision can be difficult because after you have processes out the anger, resentment and grief, you will have to give up the grudge - the being the "victim", the "being right" and making the other person "wrong". Notice that this is "superior" position which can be used to get a lot of self-righteous attention. Be willing, for your sake to have the courage to get off that "superior" position.

10. Be willing to find a new way to think about the person who wronged you. What was his or her life like growing up? What was his or her life like at the time of the offense? What were this person's good points up to the time of the hurt? Notice you may not be able to see much good within until you have processed out your anger and/or grief or fear.

11. Be aware that being forgiving is a courageous act on your part. It has nothing to do with whether the other person can admit they are wrong. You are forgiving to liberate yourself no matter what the other person decides to do.

12. Be willing to do and learn whatever it takes to forgive. Commit to do processes, to read courageous stories of forgiveness, to write in journals, to see a therapist, to do training’s, or to do whatever it takes to heal the wounds involved. Remember these wounds may be deeply tied to past hurts going back to your interactions with your parents. Resolve to follow them through for your total healing, even if it involves years of effort to heal. Remember that you are determined to find the true happiness and joy that true forgiveness can bring to your life.

13. If you believe in a Higher Power, be willing to pray on this problem and to turn to this Higher Power for guidance and assistance in the forgiveness process.

14. Accept the lessons involved in this incident — our lives are laboratories for learning. What have you learned from this event that is invaluable to you? Has some form of attachment to a belief or beliefs a position has caused you the pain involved? What belief or beliefs were involved?

15. See that everything is okay; possibly perfect, as it is now.

Qn 1: I shld qualify tt these are new pairs of socks, hence every pair is attached tog. SO...the blind men will just nid to separate each pair of socks and accordingly, 1 sock will go to each man. By the time they get thru the 6 pairs, they will hv 3 pairs of red, green n blue socks still!

I know they still can't see which matches to which, but note tt I only said they should end up with 3 pairs of red, green and blue socks, and not tt they must b paired together correctly! =)

(Credit goes to LKY for the answer to Qn 2, cos he emailed me to ask if it's correct. Since he got it 100% correct, I shall free-ride and copy his answer for the benefits of those who may be guessing!)

Qn 2: Ok, since ANY of them can just shout out the colour once they noe, Man 3 need not wait for Man 2 to shout out first.

Since Man 3 can see what Man 1 and Man 2 are wearing, he'd be able to confidently shout out the colour of his own hat if the first 2 are wearing the same colour (since there are only 2 hats of one colour each). For example, if Men 1 and 2 are both wearing white hats, then he must be wearing a black one. And he would shout out 'black!'. Then Man 2 would noe that his hat is the same colour as Man 1 (since Man 3 can CONFIDENTLY shout out his own) and therefore he'll shout out 'white!' and vice versa.

But, if Man 1 and Man 2 are wearing opposite colours, then Man 3 can't be certain what his colour is, so he'd probably HESITATE and keep quiet. Then in this case, Man 2 would noe that his is different from Man 1's and guess his colour of the hat correctly.

So did U get the answers? =)

Busy start to the week! Worked till 11pm tonite! Can't believe it..but it was satisfying, cos I managed to tie the figures at the end of the nite. However, it was scary being the lone person in the whole office. I started calling my frens n tokking super loudly on the fone. Haha...the reporting system didn't work as fantastically as I would hv liked it. Can't do 2 things at one go, which means tt if I tried to run a report AND worked on another excel spreadsheet, the whole system hanged! Which was y I was in office till 11pm.

Gg to b a short week, BUT will be moving closer to home during the long weekend. Busy busy busy...after the mgmt report goes out, it will b time to rush another report to our head office, before rushing to pack my files and stuff for the BIG MOVE. Oh my..just tinking about everything makes me tired...ahha...

IQ Questions for my readers:

1. There are 2 blind men. They each have 1 pair of red, blue and yellow socks, i.e. 3 pairs each, or 6 pairs in total. If they bump into each other in an alley and their socks drop, how can they ensure that they each still land up w 1 pair of red, blue and yellow socks? (No external help available.)

2. Three men stand in a straight line, each facing the back of the other. They each have on a hat. There are 4 hats in all, 2 black and 2 white.

The 2nd man can see the colour of the 1st man's hat, and the 3rd man can see both the hats of the 1st and 2nd men, while the 1st man can't see anyone at all.

If any of them noe the colour of their own hat, they can shout the colour out and get out of the line. How can the 2nd man know the colour of the hat he is wearing?

Interesting? Post me your answers...=) It's NOT qian bian wen da ti, k...use yr brains! The temp at my place asked me the questions one..smart kid! Hee...

Oh my oh my! Been busy, so no time to bk my Bangkok trip or even researched more on the upcoming Japan trip! However, I m pleased to announce tt I can collect my biometric passport! ICA is really pretty efficient...unbelievably...=p

Tink i can continue blabbering on, but I better stop...time to sleep! Tata!

Within 2 weeks, yet another fren has experienced a failed romance. One 37mths long, the other just 7 mths. I wonder y in both cases, the guy's reason (or excuse, depending on who u ask) was that he was unable to see the gal in his future.

In both cases, the guy said tt he can continue the relationship, but it will be bad of him cos he didn't want to waste the gal's time. Furthermore, it will b a lie cos he just couldn't see a future tog.

Honestly, I am in no position to comment, cos every relationship has its own sweetness and conversely, problems. Only the 2 pple involved noe wat went wrong in reality. No breakup is ever easy, but it may b a blessing in disguise.

However, I know it's easier said than practised. Like wat one of my frens said, as long as there's still luv btw the 2, the relationship is still worth working on. Only when the luv isn't there animore, should the 2 pple concerned move on.

Dating is to know each other better, so tt we can walk the longer journey together in future. When the road ends due to incompatibility or just cos luv has died, another rd may b chosen. Or perhaps, some will choose to stand at the same spot, looking backwards at the path taken in the past.

Luv is so sweet when it's there, yet so painful when it leaves our side. Perhaps the best way is to b slow and steady, instead of starting w fireworks, and ending on a quick note, once the fireworks display is over.

I just feel sad tt happiness has come and gone so swiftly for my 2nd fren. Z, u noe tt u aren't to blame for the loss of luv. U r perfectly gd, and the right person will come by one day. Dun lose confidence over tis experience. U hv grown up and tis is all just part n parcel of life. After the airport incident, u alr noe wat we thot. In a sense, it's a blessing, although u wun feel it now. Just rem - Without knowing who's wrong for u, u will never noe who's right for u. Take heart tt u r surrounded by frens who care! There's more to life than luv...take yr time...