Monday, March 05, 2007

Of Anger & Insecurity

If you are not prepared to read a post full of complaints, which would most likely alternate between feelings of anger and insecurity, I will suggest you read no further.

It has been a bad start to the week for me. I don't tink I am particularly sensitive or thinking too much when I write this. Suffice to know that I have began to feel that the workplace is pretty political again. Things aren't as simple as it looks on the surface, and no matter how unambitious I may be, I get sucked into things by virtue of my designation.

I am upset, not bcos I can't acknowledge that I am lousy or not as gd as I think I am. It is also not because my ego has taken a beating. I am feeling down simply because I don't understand why work just can't be work. Is any gd served in saying things that pinpoint blame or to show the lack of knowledge of others?

Conversely, does it make one feel superior in hving the upper hand in a working relationship? I don't understand...I really don't. I only know that I just wanna get my job done. If I don't get promoted, that's fine as well. I wun resort to underhanded means or badmouthing or instigating others to think in a particular fashion just to achieve my own selfish objectives. To think that the person is a Christian, and a devout one at tt. I am surprised frankly.

Then again, maybe I shld give the person the benefit of a doubt. But this has happened too frequently and too many times. I don't see myself as much of a threat to anyone, so I wonder why others feel differently. They shld rem tt I hv a very visible flaw which hamper my movement and thus, possibly progress upwards. So what are they worried about?