Monday, July 24, 2006

Questions for My Future

Coupled with a few meet-ups over the weekend, I feel that I have once again sunk into quicksand. Maybe I just have a knack of feeling sorry for myself or am simply self-centred.

Questions, questions and still more questions:

1. Am I in the right company? Is there any prospect?
2. Will my condition deteroriate? It simply doesn't help that the guy in my office just fell and cut himself BADLY (will leave a big ugly scar on his face).
3. Can I succeed if I put my mind to it?
4. To aid in my quest for success, should I further my studies? If so, should it be a MBA or CFA etc? Should I study part-time or full-time? In Singapore or overseas?
5. Will I attain happiness just by succeeding in my career? What do I really want? A happy family or a career? Mayb it really isn't up to me, since the Happy Family option doesn't seem available to me. Why should I inflict someone else with hurt?
6. If I really do further my studies, can I do well? After all, I will be competing with pple who may be older and more experienced than me, so what makes me think that I will be able to pass with flying colours?
7. What if, heaven forbids, studying further actually doesn't help anything, and that I will continue to feel empty and unfulfilled within? Should I be searching for my true happiness, whatever that means, now?
8. Can I change the grey matter in my head to be a simpler and more naive gal? Why am I thinking so hard for? I mean, I am not exactly the bottom half of society and yet I feel unfulfilled.

This is totally irrelevant, but should I go Chiangmai with 2 colleagues of mine who are quite tai-tai? I am not sure if they are able to cope with me, since I am not exactly physically gifted.