Now, for some reflections:
a. As usual, like in all other trips, I fell down. It's usual and not entirely demeaning, just that it gets sorta tiring whenever I fall. I guess I should be thankful that I have never sprained my ankle before, cos tis time around, I took quite a hard stumble and actually fell on my toe. The vein around my toe is still sorta swollen, but I will survive.
b. I simply have no strength to do certain stuff, that may actually come pretty naturally to other pple. I am not pretending and I do try my best. But it still gets to me that I require the help of others.
c. My frens may say that I am not a burden. But I seriously feel that I am a burden. As much as I may be a help in remembering directions; sorting out monetary issues etc, I still feel that I am more a hindrance than a help. Whatever else I say is all an act. I know that I am not that 'essential', which is why I rather go on trips with my family, since I am more at ease being a burden to them than to my frens.
d. I may act knowledgeable and experienced, but I don't think I am deep down. I want to be the naive gal too, but I guess this is another appearance that I am portraying.
e. I don't really know if I am entitled to love. Cos I still feel that I shouldn't make another person's life miserable. But yes, I can continue admiring from afar. As much as how I may like to talk tough in reality, I know myself best and the inner me tells me that I am not entitled to a normal life.
f. Real frens wun mind, and in fact will endure my tough talk. They may know the real emotions in my heart, but they won't say it out to embarass me or make me uncomfortable.
g. I am thankful that I have a bunch of good frens who can see beneath my facade and brand of humour. I am even more grateful that they accept me for who I am and will not try to change me.